1. HEAR YE, HEAR YE. An announcement must be made. Our prayers have been answered! We are finally worthy of quality entertainment. The “Work Bitch” video has been bestowed upon us, bitch!
2. Brace yourself. You are about to partake in an intense, highly Spearitual journey.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
4. As with most iconic figures, fog lifts and the iconic & talented, sexy + sweet, Britney Jean Spears appears. Introducing Poolney.
5. With a little mandatory promo (BUY FANTASY IT SMELLS GOOD ON YOU)…
10. She it literally giving us “I Love Rock n Roll” performance in a karaoke bar from 2002 cinematic classic Crossroads vibes.
13. And here’s the most insane thing. Like, really nuts.
17. SHE IS ACTUALLY USING HER WHOLE BODY. HER LEGS ARE MOVING. WE HAVE LEG MOVEMENT, PEOPLE.
18. *Is whipped back into shape. Stops crying. Must go on. Must work bitch*
20. …and be transported to a pool FULL OF FUCKING HAMMERHEAD SHARKS.
22. And O.M.G. THE THROWBACK. IT’S THE SLAVE DANCE, PEOPLE. SHE IS BEING CIRCLED BY HAMMERHEAD SHARKS WHILST DOING THE SLAVE DANCE.
25. OK, but really one of the secret best part is…
31. Also can we just talk about how this is by far the best blatant Beats pillbox speaker thing promo you have ever seen. So original.
32. *Tears up again* She just looks… fucking flawless.
33. Like, she is channeling all energy into her iconic being. Such eternal beauty.
39. *Gets five jobs*