To trim or not to trim? The eternal question.
1. You thought you would look like this:
But you actually look like this:
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Mo’ hair, mo’ problems.
2. You have to trim them every two to three weeks which always ends with you in tears.
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Seeing your hairs across the bathroom sink just makes you yell, “WHAT HAVE I DONE?” Meanwhile, the rest of your hair grows at a normal pace.
3. Every time you go to the salon, the stylist says, “You cut these yourself didn’t you?”
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You bow your head in shame because you know it’s true but you’ll keep doing it anyways.
4. They become a new permanent visor.
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You forget what it’s like to see clearly because your eyelashes/bangs now extend to your nose.
5. Speaking of which, your bangs also become part of your glasses.
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It suddenly becomes crucial to carry a lens wipe with you everywhere or live with foggy vision.
6. Getting sweaty = curvy, flippy bangs and escaping to the bathroom to fix them every five minutes.
This also happens in humid, hot, and all around bang-hating weather. Every day is another day to remember how terrible weather can be!
7. Putting in contacts means trying to avoid your bangs at all cost or begin your day by poking your eye.
You’ll curse, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry — thanks bangs!
8. Using mascara means you’ll end up looking like an extra from The Walking Dead.
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Your bangs will always win and come between you and all your makeup.
9. The wind is out to get you and WILL expose your forehead.
AP Photo / Peter Morrison
Some people have never seen you without your bangs and you’d like to keep it that way.
10. Having curly hair bangs means rising at sunrise to style them.
Yes, curly haired people can get bangs. No, it does not have any fewer struggles. Yes, you get up at 7 a.m. to get them ready.
11. Bangs end up requiring more hair products than your actual hair and will cost more than rent.
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They need so much maintenance that you’ll realize what it’s like to have a child.
12. Bangs hide and create acne so they leave you with no other option but to order Proactiv.
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The easiest solution is to cut your bangs but who likes taking the easy way out?
13. If you forget to shower, your greasy bangs will give you away.
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Dry shampoo can save you hair, but your bangs will show your boss how late you were out.
14. You wish your bangs would look like celebrities’ bangs.
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John Shearer/Invision / AP
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Did I copy their hairstyle? Yes. Do I look like them? No. Will I still keep my bangs? Yes.
15. Sometimes you trim too much and you can kiss your social life goodbye.
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You begin to pray that hopefully no one will notice and comment. Worst of all is when they ask, “Did you just get bangs or something?”
16. So you decide to pay for bang trims until you realize it’s like paying for a private school education.
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For a five-minute procedure, you’d think that you’d be getting a full hair makeover, highlights, and a blow out.
17. Getting a haircut always means you’ll get new bang hair you didn’t want, forcing you to invest in bobby pins.
This then leads to your new problem: finding bobby pins all over your house/life and poking your head with them.
18. If you do any type of sports, you’ll be forced to live in headband hell.
This also applies to putting your sunglasses up during the summer — just try and do it in a semi-hot way.
19. The phantom bang hair that develops into “I have a migraine from looking up too much.”
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It’s not really on your face but the headache you get from trying to spot it is your gift for searching.
20. Your best friend gets bangs and now you’re both twins without meaning to be.
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Guess who’s no longer your best friend? Desperate times call for desperate measures.
21. If you go tanning, your forehead will end up being a different color.
But at least you have your bangs to hide your shame.
But at the end of the day, you wouldn’t be you without your bangs!
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Love you bangs, stay flat!