Kylie Jenner doesnt know what Friends is, and anyone who does is an ancient bag of gray hair and bone dust.
If your eyeballs havent atrophied over the bazillion years youve been walking the earth trying to decide ifyoure a free-spirited Phoebe or an obsessive compulsive Monica, check out a new video by ELLE wherein Kylie is asked to select her favorite character on Friends.
What is that?
LOL, YEAH, WHAT IS THAT, EVEN?!
Maybe her parents know what Friends is, but not Kylie. She was born in August 1997, when every home in her neighborhood had a Mac PowerBook and the Heavens Gate cult members already committed mass suicide.
When pressed further, Kylie insists,
I know what Friends is. I mean, I dont WATCH ‘Friends.’
Of COURSE, she doesnt watch “Friends,” duh.
Friends does not apply to Kylie Jenners life.
She is not:
A.) Collecting social security
B.) An AARP subscriber
C.) 500,000 years old
She does own a Jazzy Power Chair, but she only uses it for photo shoots.
The truth is, Kylie Jenner doesnt need to watch a show about six pals trying to have it all in the big city because she already definitively has it all in several major cities.
Shes living the dream we all attempt to experience vicariously through David Schwimmer.
The only thing Kylie worries about is what her spirit emoji — upside-down smiley face — says about her.
Shes forever young, forever successful and forever exhausted by your outdated references.
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